Self Appreciation

Hi Blog,

Lagi keingetan, jadi pengen nulis satu postingan sblm tidur.
Melanjutkan cerita gue di sini, gue jadi inget kalau gue suka nggak pedean.
Ada aja yg bikin gue nggak pede, pdhl sbnrnya bbrp kali gue merasa pantas untuk hal tsb.

Gue sampai mikir, apa karena gue cwe. Pdhl ortu di rumah selalu encourage gue dan bilang gue itu mampu. Lantas dari mana dan apa asal mula ini semua?

I still do not know the answer. Maybe I set my standard too high and I want to become everything and the best. While actually you only need to be good.

But anyway, sometimes this side of myself got me frustrated. Why I cant believe in myself, when there is no right or wrong and no one is perfect in this world.
I try to rewrite my mind up to this mind and collect my guts to voice my thought. I do believe that we should speak up, and do good things for our society.

Nahh sehubungan dengan topik ini, yg bikin gue keranjingan ama grup Kpop baru, yaitu BTS (yes! that one!), gegara campaign Love Yourself nya. Banyaaaak bgt lagunya yg bikin kita mikir, reflect in life. do I already love myself? Am I ready to love anyone else?
This song by Jin is like a relief song for me. I feel like why I cant love myself completely. Kenapa gue suka nggak pede dgn penampilan gue, kemampuan gue, atau kenapa gue terganggu dengan perkataan kecil org2. I do my best and thats all.

Tapi yaah, drpd overconfidence, i think its good to work on myself.

This is the video, hope you enjoy like how I enjoy this much.

And after this, I want to learn how to appreciate myself. I had did well and let's work hard again.

Bbyong!!

I vow to myself to be happy!

recently I remembered my darkest period, the time when I used to cry in daylight or even late night.
but if i think about myself right now. I am happy. of course still not the fullest. but i can say i am so happy. without anything big missing.
the cute photos I found:

I promise myself to only do things that makes me happy, useful for others, and the best for myself and my family.
thanks for all experience Allah. I am going to be better person, and I will be happy.

Resolusi 2014

2014 is already less than a week. Do you already have ur resolution? But before we talk abt my resolution, I want to review my last year's resolution. Hmmm from 11 points, i think i made some of it and some still need to be done for years ahead.
1. Bisa ngulek (hmmm ini harus dilanjutkan sih) but somehow I think i get better in kitchen area. Tinggal di kota baru dan sndirian bikin gue harus kreatif menghemat, mengisi waktu luang, dan mencari kesibukan. slh satunya ya masak. mayan lahh, udh pede, klo tiba2 ada yg nyuruh masak, ada modalnya.
2. Know what i really want to do. Look for my passion. I think I already found it in my new place. But there's still something bothered. Yeah well, I think look for my passion will be my lifetime homework.
3.More settle mentally and physically. Physically yah udh mayan. Tabungan udh mayan, tinggal mikirin baiknya ke depan gimana. Mentally, ini nih. Mudah2an gak ada lagi nangis di kantor, atau sesenggukan dpn laptop. Still need any improvement. Smoga emosi ini tetap terkontrol tp org tetap menangkap maksud gue.
4. Punya rak komik. DONE!
5. Rajin olahraga. Hmmm ini juga masih perlu perbaikan. Niat mau treadmill-an aja blm kesampean. Baru renang lucu pas dinas. Ini juga perlu dibenerin nihh.
6. Gak absen sholat subuh. Hmmm jamnya nih yg harus dibenerin.
7. Bangun cepat dan tidur cepat. Sempet terlaksana, tp gara2 kerjaan, jd agak kacau. Sempat bertahan sbentar, dgn tidur larut n bangun cepat. Tapi badan ambruk krn gak kuat. Hrs diperbaiki nih.
8. Trying new things? Well, selain eksplor kota baru Batam, akhirnya sy pernah naik primajasa ke Bandung, travel ke Malaysia n tidur di hostel, impulsively went to sg by ferry and have breakfast lunch and dinner in 3 different cities, have my own card name, tidur di mixed dorm, have so many new dishes by myself. ahh many exciting things are coming!
9. Punya product apple. Hahaha sbnrnya kantong udh mampu, tp ternyata msi berat yah. i learn that im type that the more you earn money the harder u spent it. Yahh tau perjuangan dpt uangnya, jd belanjainnya juga hrs penuh pertimbangan. Yahh, klo udh tepat, nanti terjadi kok.
10. Zakat/Infaq/Shadaqah di tempat yg tepat. Found it!
11. Find 10 new places in Bandung. Already found it just as i said before.


Yeah, so my new eleven resolution will be:
1. get some days off and travel far. already taste the impulsive of short travel. let's try further.
2. drive safely. i already got my driving license but never use it until it expired. i should make new one, and drive properly.
3. no more tears and cry in the day and night work session.
4. no work at home.
5. no laptop in my bags (unless it necessary)
6. has 10 new menu on my kitchen hehe. let's experiment. im quite happy that cooking can be my refreshment thing.
7. look for my passion and my long-period-plan
8. rutin olahraga. nyari ahh tpt renang asik dan tpt treadmill seru.
9. benerin jam sholat. jangan lagi ahh mepet2 atau subuh pas matahari udh terang hahaha.
10. baca quran beserta maknanya. dikit asal rutin. nowadays i feel lonelier and this can cure, much.
11. last but not least, this year i have love resolution, as I asked to Allah since Ramadhan. I wanna meet my friend for life. hehehe amin aja dehh. seneng aja tahun 2013 lalu, byk temen2 yg desperately looking for their life partner, akhirnya menikah juga. i think, now it's my turn. bismillahh.
anyway, happy new years yaa teman-teman. jgn lupa resolusinya disiapin :)

dealing with loneliness

kombinasi ketidakseimbangan hormon dan kejenuhan membuat rasanya gampang banget kesepian. I'm not the type that easily feeling lonely. nggak punya saudara, dan sudah tinggal jauh dari ortu untuk lebih dari 10 tahun, membuat gue sbnrnya pny cara jitu untuk mengatasi rasa sepi. I have so many friends from everywhere with so many types. kadang pasti mereka kena randoman gue yg tiba2 nyapa, cm sekedar say hi, nanyain kabar n update sedikit info. atau kadang curhat or berdoa aja ama Yang Di Atas. atau bikin planning apapun yg bikin seneng.

tapi mlm ini kayak kayaknya lebih sepi dibanding biasanya. udh gtu lagi2 dihadapkan sama kerjaan dan lagi2 harus gue kerjain sendirian. mungkin ini sih yg bikin sepi, biasanya at least adalah temen buat panik sblm dedlen bareng, atau cuma skedar partner yg nemenin ngeliatin gue ngerjain. tp skrg nggak ada sm skali.

Saya cuma minta dikuatkan, Ya Allah. I believe that tears and sweats wont betray me.

Palem(bronx)

Hi all!
Agak lama deh gak update blog. Well, too many things happened lately. Hahaha emotionally unstable gtu lah ceritanya. Maklum, too many big events happened also. I think Im not ready yet for that.

Hmmm dari mana yah, intinya dari training dulu deh yaa. Ane tdnya kebagian training di Jawa Bagian Barat. Dan tiba2, dapet info dipindah ke Palembang. Say whaaat? Ive been gone to sumatera just like once, Medan. Tp syukurnya, 2 mggu adaptasi, bareng temen2 segambreng. Temen sma juga untungnya banyak, jd banyaklah yg bs dihubungin klo kenapa2. Menyenangkan lah 2 mggu ini. YOLO teroooos. kerjaan juga untungnya mayan bersahabat dan senior+bos2 baik2. Agak2 bronx sih tempat kos kita, tapi ive been in worse situation, and survived. Then, why i cant do that now?

Trus sampai akhirnya dikasi tau penempatan di Palembang lagi. Well, bukannya gak suka sih. Cm agak jauh aja dari rumah, dan environment dan budaya yg bener2 baru aja, yg bikin agak takut. Tapi inget2 lagi, doa gue sblm penempatan adalah yang terbaik. Dan thank God, i think it really is the best.

 Apa yg membuat gue sudah berpikir ini yg terbaik?
1. Gue ditempatin di bagian yg, yahh, bukan my first choice sih, tp i learn a lot there. And I have so many things to do in there. Yahh, mudah2an aja kesampaian.
2. Senior dan bos2 yg menyenangkan. Gue selalu berpikir, tempat bukan hal yg paling masalah. Klo bos+temen2 gak asik, ya pasti super gak betah kan. Di sni org2 sekitar gue terbuka bgt dan menerima sgala kritikan. Bukan tipe2 konservatif lah intinya, bikin nyaman bgt jadinya.
3. Kerjaan gak menyita sgtu banyak waktu. Well, gue selalu berdoa i hv time for myself. And it really happened now, a lot better than when im still trainee. Gue bisa pulang cepet lebih cepat dibanding biasanya, mikir mau makan/masak apa, bersih2 rumah, baca buku, nonton, pokoknya smua hal yg emg gw pgn lakuin. Bukan berarti nganggur n lebih ringan makanya bisa gini. Tapi krn di sni systemnya udh lebih mature jadinya enak banget dehh kerja, mayan terstruktur. Terima kasih ya Allah untuk yg satu ini.
4. Selain panasnya yg ampe bikin pusing, Palembang ini mayan maju. Yahhh, pernah hidup di magelang, bikin gue bisalah survive dgn hanya matahari. Tp palembang a lot above that. Yah, buat gue yg gak gtu rempong, soal toko2an sih udh oke.
5. Makanan? hmmm ini juga yg agak susah. untungnya, senior2 sering ngajakin buka brg dan mengenalkan tempat2 makan yg manusiawi. 2 mggu sblmnya, makan gak jauh2 dari pempek, sampe udh enek total.
6. Walaupun org2 sini agak barbar di jalan, tp alhamdulillah gue selalu ketemu org baik di jalan. Klo positif, insyaAllah positif lah.
7. Setelah dipikir2, gak jauh2 amat sih dr rumah. Perjalanan pesawat+persiapannya, kira2 2 jam, damri ke bogor 2,5 jam. Less than 5 hrs kok. gak jauh beda ama bandung-bogor yg bisa 4 jam.

Poin utamanya sihh, alhamdulillah gue punya waktu buat diri gue. Buat memapankan hati ini, meningkatkan skill berurusan kerumahan dan perdapuran, meningkatkan persiapan sekolah. Smoga tujuan2 ke depan bisa dimudahkan.

Yahh, udh ahh, random ceritanya. Smoga gue makin betah dan makin bersahabat dgn kota ini. See ya when i see ya!

Work Life?

it has been almost seven months since I got my first job. how does it feel to be a worker?
first, I finally understand why everybody like weekends that much. in weekdays, I should work from 9 to 7. doing many tasks, manage many things and of course, just a bit playing time. and now, I really wait for weekend.
next, of course the paying time. It feels really proud to use your own money to buy things. And of course, I could cherish every IDR I made and do not forget to save some. But I really proud that my mom borrow some money from me to buy something. Hihihi..

maybe next time, I could tell you the details of my work life. It so different from other and I just hope that everything I made at work, will give many impacts to other. see ya!!