Hilang Motivasi

Dear blog,

Halo!
Akhir-akhir ini gue lagi hilang semangat dan motivasi, padahal baru awal tahun hahaha. Ngga tau kenapa, pdhl kayaknya ngga lagi banyak kerjaan juga.

Kenapa ya susah banget praktek percaya pada Tuhan Yang Maha Tahu? dan tidak boleh kita berserah selain padaNya?

Akhir-akhir ini juga kepikiran what should I do with my life?
Evaluasi tahunan yang kali ini agak susah dijawab. What do I want for myself, my life? What do I like?
Walau dibalikin ke niat awal gue memilih jalan ini, terkadang susah juga ya mengembalikan jawaban ke niat itu.

Haha udh ah. Mungkin gue kurang tidur aj XX

Bye!

I vow to myself to be happy!

recently I remembered my darkest period, the time when I used to cry in daylight or even late night.
but if i think about myself right now. I am happy. of course still not the fullest. but i can say i am so happy. without anything big missing.
the cute photos I found:

I promise myself to only do things that makes me happy, useful for others, and the best for myself and my family.
thanks for all experience Allah. I am going to be better person, and I will be happy.

Resolusi 2014

2014 is already less than a week. Do you already have ur resolution? But before we talk abt my resolution, I want to review my last year's resolution. Hmmm from 11 points, i think i made some of it and some still need to be done for years ahead.
1. Bisa ngulek (hmmm ini harus dilanjutkan sih) but somehow I think i get better in kitchen area. Tinggal di kota baru dan sndirian bikin gue harus kreatif menghemat, mengisi waktu luang, dan mencari kesibukan. slh satunya ya masak. mayan lahh, udh pede, klo tiba2 ada yg nyuruh masak, ada modalnya.
2. Know what i really want to do. Look for my passion. I think I already found it in my new place. But there's still something bothered. Yeah well, I think look for my passion will be my lifetime homework.
3.More settle mentally and physically. Physically yah udh mayan. Tabungan udh mayan, tinggal mikirin baiknya ke depan gimana. Mentally, ini nih. Mudah2an gak ada lagi nangis di kantor, atau sesenggukan dpn laptop. Still need any improvement. Smoga emosi ini tetap terkontrol tp org tetap menangkap maksud gue.
4. Punya rak komik. DONE!
5. Rajin olahraga. Hmmm ini juga masih perlu perbaikan. Niat mau treadmill-an aja blm kesampean. Baru renang lucu pas dinas. Ini juga perlu dibenerin nihh.
6. Gak absen sholat subuh. Hmmm jamnya nih yg harus dibenerin.
7. Bangun cepat dan tidur cepat. Sempet terlaksana, tp gara2 kerjaan, jd agak kacau. Sempat bertahan sbentar, dgn tidur larut n bangun cepat. Tapi badan ambruk krn gak kuat. Hrs diperbaiki nih.
8. Trying new things? Well, selain eksplor kota baru Batam, akhirnya sy pernah naik primajasa ke Bandung, travel ke Malaysia n tidur di hostel, impulsively went to sg by ferry and have breakfast lunch and dinner in 3 different cities, have my own card name, tidur di mixed dorm, have so many new dishes by myself. ahh many exciting things are coming!
9. Punya product apple. Hahaha sbnrnya kantong udh mampu, tp ternyata msi berat yah. i learn that im type that the more you earn money the harder u spent it. Yahh tau perjuangan dpt uangnya, jd belanjainnya juga hrs penuh pertimbangan. Yahh, klo udh tepat, nanti terjadi kok.
10. Zakat/Infaq/Shadaqah di tempat yg tepat. Found it!
11. Find 10 new places in Bandung. Already found it just as i said before.


Yeah, so my new eleven resolution will be:
1. get some days off and travel far. already taste the impulsive of short travel. let's try further.
2. drive safely. i already got my driving license but never use it until it expired. i should make new one, and drive properly.
3. no more tears and cry in the day and night work session.
4. no work at home.
5. no laptop in my bags (unless it necessary)
6. has 10 new menu on my kitchen hehe. let's experiment. im quite happy that cooking can be my refreshment thing.
7. look for my passion and my long-period-plan
8. rutin olahraga. nyari ahh tpt renang asik dan tpt treadmill seru.
9. benerin jam sholat. jangan lagi ahh mepet2 atau subuh pas matahari udh terang hahaha.
10. baca quran beserta maknanya. dikit asal rutin. nowadays i feel lonelier and this can cure, much.
11. last but not least, this year i have love resolution, as I asked to Allah since Ramadhan. I wanna meet my friend for life. hehehe amin aja dehh. seneng aja tahun 2013 lalu, byk temen2 yg desperately looking for their life partner, akhirnya menikah juga. i think, now it's my turn. bismillahh.
anyway, happy new years yaa teman-teman. jgn lupa resolusinya disiapin :)

Girl vs Woman

A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl throws tantrums, a woman communicates what's bothering her. A girl plays a game, a woman doesn't. A woman has standards, not expectations.

Baru baca, I couldn't agree more. How different a woman and a girl.

keep learning like there's no tomorrow

Malam-malam hbs belajar, jadi keingetan, sbnrnya apa aj sih yg udh gw pelajarin dan apa yg masih perlu gw pelajarin.
Jaman SD dulu, gw cm pengen ranking 1 n punya banyak temen. Hidup gw cm berkisar belajar, main, dan berantem lucu sm temen skelas.
Jaman smp, udh lewatlah study oriented nya. Gw pgn aktif organisasi n eksis di sekolah. Jaman ini gw jg amazed sih, les bhs inggris, les piano, les pelajaran, aktif ekskul, osis, yaampuuun deh, super(sok)sibuk.
Jaman sma, wahh berhub sma lain dr yg lain, gw belajar gimana menerapkan ing ngarso sung tulodo, ing madyo mangun karso, dan tut wuri handayani. Belajar gmn jadi bupati di falsafah esem bupati, semu mantri dan dupak kuli. Belajar mendorong diri gw di kondisi yg gw gak suka sama sekali. Menghargai org lain dan hidup dgn org yg gak bs lo atur. Belajar bagaimana bs berguna untuk negara ini. Wahh, berbagai softskill yg insyaAllah sangat berguna sampai nanti.
Jaman kuliah, gw belajar bagaimana bermimpi tinggi. Bagaimana kita bisa terdepan, bukan hanya di Indonesia, tp di dunia. Gw banyak denger cerita alumni yg sukses gak cm di indonesia tp jg negara lain. Intinya, elo bisa menjadi apapun yg elo impikan. Asal lo pny mimpinya, dan langkah nyata menuju mimpi itu.
Well, berbagai pelajaran itu mengajarkan bagaimana gw harus melihat ke atas, agar kita tdk pernah berpuas diri untuk mencapai sstu, bagaimana sbnrnya kita bs memaksa diri kita hingga ke level setinggi-tingginya, tentu sj dgn cara yg benar. Dgn kita menjadi seseorang yg tinggi, tentu tujuannya adl, kita akan smakin bs berguna bagi sekitar. Tapi kita jg tetap harus melihat ke bawah, agar kita tidak lupa bersyukur dan tentunya berbagi, karena kita smua jg awalnya bukanlah apa2 dan bukan siapa2.
Pengen belajar apa lagi yah? Yaahh klo technical, tentu msi banyak yg hrs gw pelajari, secara I am an engineer who soon will turn into an economist. Selebihnya, pelajaran ttg kehidupan (yasiek) bs kita pelajari dimana saja dan kapan saja. Keep ur senses and u will see beyond what u actually see.
Udh ahh, ngelantur berat sesi curhat malam2 ini. Gnight!

renungan berikutnya

Habis buka2 facebook, tersasarlah sy pada notes seorang senior yg sedang membahas seputar jodoh dan pernikahan. Hmmm jadi mikir juga hahahhaa.

Ini link lengkapnya:

korelasi-antara-durasi-pacaran-dengan-harmonisnya-pernikahan/

benarkah-cinta-itu-yang-terpenting-di-sebuah-pernikahan/

Yahhh buat yg belum menikah, mungkin bisa dijadikan bahan renungan :D

Palem(bronx)

Hi all!
Agak lama deh gak update blog. Well, too many things happened lately. Hahaha emotionally unstable gtu lah ceritanya. Maklum, too many big events happened also. I think Im not ready yet for that.

Hmmm dari mana yah, intinya dari training dulu deh yaa. Ane tdnya kebagian training di Jawa Bagian Barat. Dan tiba2, dapet info dipindah ke Palembang. Say whaaat? Ive been gone to sumatera just like once, Medan. Tp syukurnya, 2 mggu adaptasi, bareng temen2 segambreng. Temen sma juga untungnya banyak, jd banyaklah yg bs dihubungin klo kenapa2. Menyenangkan lah 2 mggu ini. YOLO teroooos. kerjaan juga untungnya mayan bersahabat dan senior+bos2 baik2. Agak2 bronx sih tempat kos kita, tapi ive been in worse situation, and survived. Then, why i cant do that now?

Trus sampai akhirnya dikasi tau penempatan di Palembang lagi. Well, bukannya gak suka sih. Cm agak jauh aja dari rumah, dan environment dan budaya yg bener2 baru aja, yg bikin agak takut. Tapi inget2 lagi, doa gue sblm penempatan adalah yang terbaik. Dan thank God, i think it really is the best.

 Apa yg membuat gue sudah berpikir ini yg terbaik?
1. Gue ditempatin di bagian yg, yahh, bukan my first choice sih, tp i learn a lot there. And I have so many things to do in there. Yahh, mudah2an aja kesampaian.
2. Senior dan bos2 yg menyenangkan. Gue selalu berpikir, tempat bukan hal yg paling masalah. Klo bos+temen2 gak asik, ya pasti super gak betah kan. Di sni org2 sekitar gue terbuka bgt dan menerima sgala kritikan. Bukan tipe2 konservatif lah intinya, bikin nyaman bgt jadinya.
3. Kerjaan gak menyita sgtu banyak waktu. Well, gue selalu berdoa i hv time for myself. And it really happened now, a lot better than when im still trainee. Gue bisa pulang cepet lebih cepat dibanding biasanya, mikir mau makan/masak apa, bersih2 rumah, baca buku, nonton, pokoknya smua hal yg emg gw pgn lakuin. Bukan berarti nganggur n lebih ringan makanya bisa gini. Tapi krn di sni systemnya udh lebih mature jadinya enak banget dehh kerja, mayan terstruktur. Terima kasih ya Allah untuk yg satu ini.
4. Selain panasnya yg ampe bikin pusing, Palembang ini mayan maju. Yahhh, pernah hidup di magelang, bikin gue bisalah survive dgn hanya matahari. Tp palembang a lot above that. Yah, buat gue yg gak gtu rempong, soal toko2an sih udh oke.
5. Makanan? hmmm ini juga yg agak susah. untungnya, senior2 sering ngajakin buka brg dan mengenalkan tempat2 makan yg manusiawi. 2 mggu sblmnya, makan gak jauh2 dari pempek, sampe udh enek total.
6. Walaupun org2 sini agak barbar di jalan, tp alhamdulillah gue selalu ketemu org baik di jalan. Klo positif, insyaAllah positif lah.
7. Setelah dipikir2, gak jauh2 amat sih dr rumah. Perjalanan pesawat+persiapannya, kira2 2 jam, damri ke bogor 2,5 jam. Less than 5 hrs kok. gak jauh beda ama bandung-bogor yg bisa 4 jam.

Poin utamanya sihh, alhamdulillah gue punya waktu buat diri gue. Buat memapankan hati ini, meningkatkan skill berurusan kerumahan dan perdapuran, meningkatkan persiapan sekolah. Smoga tujuan2 ke depan bisa dimudahkan.

Yahh, udh ahh, random ceritanya. Smoga gue makin betah dan makin bersahabat dgn kota ini. See ya when i see ya!

Steve Jobs' Commencement Address (2005)

This is on of my favorite speech of all. After Jobs had died in 2011, I found this speech. A bit late, but better than never right? I already read it since then and try to understand every word. One thing I envious the most is that, he could find what he loves since the beginning. Although he never graduated, but he can do all things he loves the most. But like he said, I should keep looking and don't settle.

Here is the original link

http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

And this is the video link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Sehat itu Mahal

Hi semua! Sehat2 kan?

Itu pasti sering jadi kalimat pembuka ketika kita baru bertemu dgn seseorang atau kontak dgn teman lama.

Setelah pikir2, alhamdulillah jawaban gw hampir selalu baik. dan setelah gw ngobrol ama temen2, gw alhamdulillah selalu diberi kesehatan yg oke banget dari Allah.

Sejak gw kecil, gw belum pernah mimisan, pingsan, dijahit, opname, cacar, campak, dan operasi. Gw kecil juga bukan yg diem di rumah dan nggak lari2. Gw selalu kelayapan sore dan lari2, naik sepeda, in-line-skate keliling komplek. Alhamdulillah paling parah cuma kaki bocel2 dari lutut sampe mata kaki. Kecapekan pun paling banter tepar. Temen2 cacar n campak, gw nggak kena. Sepanjang gw kecil ampe gede, skali nyokap opname gara2 DBD tahun kemarin.

Bukan berarti gw gak pernah sakit ya. Waktu kecil, gw langganan demam. Jaman SD gw langganan flu dan batuk. Penyakit paling parah gw adalah sinusitis jaman SMP. Gw ampe harus ujian susulan pertama seumur hidup. Gak bisa duduk karena kepala kayak mau pecah. Habis itu, SMA bikin badan superfit dan gak pernah loyo (seriusan ini). Kuliah, jadwal makan dan tidur yang berantakan bikin gw kena maag. Tahun terakhir, sempet alergi antibiotik yang bikin badan gatel. Tapi klo kali kedua gw makan antibiotik ini lagi, gw harus ICU n disuntik adrenalin n bisa meninggal. Seyeeeem.

Setelah dipikir2, mamah lah kuncinya. Gw makan nggak pernah telat, tidur nggak pernah kurang, buah nggak pernah absen. Buat mamah, makasih banyak yah mah. Aku juga harus jadi mamah kayak mamah :)

Me and Myself

I really want to write something, but there too many things in my head. Maybe this time, I'll write something about myself. :)

Recently, I feel that I am too strict and cold. Unsocial and do not want to mingle with friends. And freak.

Let me explain one by one.

Strict, is something that I had from my parents. My parents are lecturers and really concern about time. After that, I studied in semi military school, where I lived by the schedule they made. That is why, I am more impatient and can't stand for waiting. But after I had my bachelor degree, I become more flexible I think. I am a lot more relax for informal occasion. Cold, is something I had from my habit too. I am the only child, and spent a lot time by myself. I am also a straightforward person, something that still unfamiliar in this country. I am also a bit hard to meet someone new. When I go to new community, I tend to silent and talk-less. But it is because I try to careful to someone new. If you already know me, I am quite cheerful person, and "unyu" person that love to joke :)

Unsocial or we call it "ansos", is something that really not me. Because I spent many times alone at home, I like to play and meet friends whenever I had time. But, I had strict night-time from parents, prevent me to spent more time at night. Beside that, I need many sleep-time. I rather choose sleep than go outside on weekend. Not to mingle means I try to be careful with someone else. Believe me, I never try to group my friends, or choose someone else over someone.

Freak? I am the only person, so I really had times by myself. Literally, myself. This makes me enjoy go to bookstore alone, or wandering alone. I also always taught to not make other people having hard times because of me. That is why, I could go to the dentist by myself. Freak? Maybe. But I open to criticism and change. So I hope, my friends around me could talk anything to me without hesitation.

Maybe this is it. We could catch up soon. Bye!

Cita-cita

Kalau ditanya cita-cita, dari kecil gue selalu punya cita-cita. Mulai dari pengen jadi polisi, pengen jadi arsitek, penulis sampai pengen jadi dosen. Dan sampai sekarang, gua bahkan bingung mau jadi apa.

Pengen jadi polisi, gara-gara SD gue SD polisi, deket sama kapolres bogor, bikin gue sering liat polwan-polwan. Keren aja, pake seragam, bantuin orang. Tapi bukan itu ya alesan gue masuk tarnus :D Setelah lulus SD pun, keinginan jadi polisi kandas.

Begitu SMP, mulai deh mikirin cita-cita yang agak realistis. Jadi apa ya? Kayaknya jadi arsitek keren deh, ngerancang bangunan gitu. Sampai masuk SMA pun, cita-cita ini yang gue tulis di setiap psikotest. Tapi begitu tahu jadi arsitek harus teliti dan mengerikan (katanya), gue pun memutuskan meninggalkan cita-cita ini. Oiya, pas SMP ini, gue juga sempet les piano. Kayaknya jadi pianis keren juga deh. Tapi sekolah musik di Indonesia di mana ya? Cita-cita ini pun kandas pula.

Masuk kuliah, gue nggak tahu mau jadi apa. Yang gue pikirin, masuk universitas bagus, ntar lanjut kuliah lagi, baru cari kerja. Milih kuliah juga nggak gampang. Berhubung nggak punya cita-cita, bikin makin susah cari jurusan. Untung di SMA ada saat sharing-sharing sama alumni. Berbekal hasil tanya sana sini, gue pun memilih teknik industri. Pertimbangannya simpel aja, gue pengen masuk teknik yang banyak cwenya dan nggak banyak hapalannya. Hahaha. Setelah keterima di UGM dan ITB, gue pun memutuskan masuk ITB.

Punya hobi baca dari kecil, bikin gue pengen jadi komikus atau jadi penulis. Berhubung gue doyan cerita, menarik juga jadi penulis. Tapi, gimana sih caranya jadi penulis. Jaman dulu, belum banyak novel-novel kayak jaman sekarang. Sekitar gue, masih lebih banyak novel terjemahan dibanding novel karya anak bangsa. Makanya, begitu liat Raditya Dika, Sitta Karina atau Adhitiya Mulya, gue jadi seneng banget. Walau bakat menulis gue kayaknya harus terpendam, gue seneng lihat banyak orang suka menulis.

Melihat ortu menjadi dosen, kayaknya enak, nggak punya bos, waktu kerja fleksibel. Hal ini membuat gue punya cita-cita jadi dosen. Namun, begitu gue mengerjakan skripsi, membayangkan gue harus mengerjakan dua skripsi yang lebih expert lagi, dan seumur hidup gue, gue harus mengembangkan ilmu pengetahuan, cita-cita jadi dosen pun kandas.

Setelah lulus, cita-cita masih menjadi tanda tanya besar dalam hidup gue. Gue pikir, setelah lulus, hidup jadi lebih simpel. Tapi saya salah ternyata. Gue masih harus memilih dari milyaran pilihan dalam hidup. Sampai sekarang, kalau ditanya apa cita-cita gue, gue selalu menjawab, ingin menjadi wanita karir, have my own income and independent from anyone. Ya, itu prinsip hidup gue. Gue gak pengen nyusahin siapa-siapa. Mungkin ini juga akibat jadi anak tunggal. Gue gak pengen nyusahin siapa-siapa, dan gue pengen bebas dari siapapun.

Well, masih panjang perjalanan ke depan, semoga gue pun dan semua yang baca tulisan ini, menemukan cita-cita yang sesuai dengan diri kita, dan tentunya berguna buat orang lain 

Recent Activities

Enam bulan terakhir, kalau ditanya apa kerjaan gue, gue bakalan jawab, gue banyak menghabiskan waktu untuk bersenang-senang sebagai bentuk balas dendam gue setelah skripsi, gue juga banyak menghabiskan waktu di rumah setelah tujuh tahun merantau dan gue banyak lamar kerja.

Sejak awal, gue gak pernah punya niatan habis lulus langsung kerja. Tapi begitu kelar skripsi, gue memutuskan mengambil langkah itu. Walau banyak banget orang-orang di sekitar gue yang menyayangkan hal itu karena nilai gue.
Walaupun bisa lulus cepet, sampai sekarang gue belum kerja. Apa alesannya? Belum nemu tempat yang cocok. Gue jadi inget kata temen gue yang udah kerja, kalo jodoh sama kerjaannya, lo bakal ngerasain dari pertama lo tes di tempat itu. Gue pun sadar, cari kerjaan gak segampang cari sekolah. Dari gue SD ampe kuliah, semua tempat gue belajar selalu gue dapet dengan mudah. Asal gue belajar tekun, gue bakal dapet yang gue mau.

Bener aja, dari belasan tempat yang gue apply, cuma nyangkut satu ampe sekarang. Dan dari semuanya, setiap ada yang mengganjal di pikiran gue, gue pasti nggak lolos. Tapi, gue nggak kerja di satu tempat itu. Pertimbangannya? Banyak, dan gue nggak memilih di sana.

Berhubungan sama cita-cita gue, sebenernya gue juga bingung mau kerja di mana. Udah bingung mau dimana, belum tentu tuh perusahaan mau ama gue. Hahaha,miris yah.
Ortu udah mulai pusing, dan memaksa gue untuk S2. Walau dalam lubuk hati gue, gue gak pengen S2. Gue pengen kerja dulu, cari pengalaman dan menikmati arti hidup. S2 juga bukan pilihan jelek pastinya, cuma belum sekarang aja kayaknya. Walau begitu, ortu mulai annoying juga sih, nasib jadi anak tunggal. Hahaha.

Banyak yang heran kenapa gue belum kerja. Menurut gue jawabannya jelas, belum jodoh. Dan menurut gue, ini saatnya gue belajar banyak hal. Belajar gagal juga merupakan pelajaran besar buat gue, mengingat gue nggak pernah gagal dalam tes sejak gue SD. Saatnya buat gue introspeksi dan tabah dalam cobaan. Lagian, dibanding cobaan gue ini, masih banyak cobaan yang jauh lebih berat dibanding gue. Dan gue tetep harus banyak bersyukur, walau gue belum kerja, gue masih bisa hidup enak dengan keluarga yang lengkap di rumah. Oiya, mungkin ini juga saat gue deket sama ortu, mengingat sebelum SMA, gue nggak pernah sedeket ini sama ortu.

Mudah-mudahan, gue bisa nemuin tempat yang pas dan belajar secepatnya, dan gue percaya. 

Skripsi

Hahaha. Kayaknya udah hampir setau lebih gue ninggalin blog ini. My last year in college was my hardest part of my life. Biarpun udah gue lewatin, masa itu bener-bener sulit buat gue. Akhirnya gue bisa nyelesein skripsi dan tugas-tugas gue, gue akuin, tahun terakhir merupakan tahun paling ansos (anti sosial). Hahaha. Lebai ya kedengerannya.

Skripsi, mungkin kata ini merupakan kata tabu buat banyak orang, termasuk gue. Sebelum gue ngerjain skripsi, gue tentunya udah denger banyak cerita tentang pembuatan skripsi. Ada yang gak beres-beres, ada yang ampe gila dan ada pula yang secepat kilat. Berbekal pengalaman, gue setengah percaya skripsi gue bakal lancar jaya. 

Semester 7 yang maha dahsyat di prodi teknik industri ITB,gue pun memulai memikirkan syarat sarjana maha penting ini. Untungnya, Allah bener-bener bantu gue. Gimana nggak, mulai dari topik dan bahan-bahan, gue dikasi sama calon dosen pembimbing gue. Ceritanya pun simpel, suatu hari gue memutuskan sore yang kosong di lab tempat nongkrong gue di tahun terakhir ini. Tiba-tiba calon dosen pembimbing berinisial AM ini memanggil gue. Dan terjadi gitu aja, beliau kasih tiga paper tentang calon skripsi dan gue diminta mempelajari paper tersebut dan buat calon bab 1 gue. Selain itu, gue pun dikasi gambaran umum calon skripsi gue nantinya. Kebayang nggak campur tangan Tuhan di sana? Coba kalau gue memutuskan untuk tidur siang di kosan, mungkin ceritanya bakal beda. Karena di saat itu, gue bukanlah orang yang rame-rame menghubungi dosen gue itu dan minta topik, dsb. Alhamdulillah, Tuhan berkata lain.

Dimulailah skripsi maha dahsyat itu. Topik gue termasuk topik super abstrak. Gue harus memikirkan suatu metode yang belum pernah ada, dan bahkan mungkin belum pernah dipikirkan perusahaan tempat gue buat skripsi. Tapi emang besar banget peranannya. Untung aja tuh perusahaan lagi-lagi di sebelah lab gue berada. Jadinya gue nggak pusing bolakbalik cuma buat ngambil data. Eh iya, mending ada datanya, skripsi gue dataless alias gak pke data. Ajib kan ya skripsi gue. Haha
Di tengah-tengah pengerjaan, gue jadi bener-bener tau perasaan orang yang ampe gila gara-gara skripsi. Gue aja heran gue nggak gila. Hahaha. Kita harus ngerjain suatu masalah sendiri, belum lagi perusahaan gak banyak buku, harus berkutat cari paper yang kita aja gak tahu mau paper kayak apa, belum lagi ngeliat temen yang udah jauh di depan soal skripsi nya.

Kebiasaan gue yang berubah? Rambut gue jadi super rontok, gue ampe takut gue penyakitan. Sisiran aja, segumpal rambut bisa gue ambil dan lantai pun harus rajin gue sapu kalo nggak mau ketutup rambut. Tidur pun seadanya, gampang marah-marah, dan nggak mau ketemu orang-orang. Kerjaan gue pun cuma kampus kosan. Oiya, gue juga made a pact before my skripsi had done. Gue nggak baca novel, nggak nonton drama korea, nggak nonton di bioskop, nggak karaokean. Pokoknya say no ke hal-hal yang butuh waktu banyak. Untung gue lagi gila korea,jadi gue nontonin variety show yang paling setengah jam aja.

Jadwal ngerjain skripsi gue awalnya serabutan. Siang habis kuliah biasanya gue abisin di kampus buat donlot paper mumpung banyak yang bisa diakses. Sore istirahat. Malem lanjut ampe pagi. Gak jarang juga gue ampe nginep di kampus demi bimbingan rutin tiap Jumat. Menjelang sidang, gue pun baru mendapatkan jadwal efektif, yaitu habis Subuh ngerjain ampe siang. Kalo perlu paper (dan video Korea) sore ke kampus skalian konsultasi. Magrib ampe jam 7an istirahat, makan, n seneng-seneng. Baru malem lanjut ampe jam 10an. Gak perlu deh namanya begadang ampe pagi.

Itu mungkin cerita tentang buat skripsi gue yang agak lebai. Pasti ada juga orang yang kerjaannya hepi-hepi doang, tapi skripsinya kelar-kelar aja. Buat yang udah pernah ngerasain skripsi, gue yakin banyak pembelajaran yang didapet. Selain akademik tentunya, kita juga belajar memahami diri sendiri dan tentunya tambah dewasa dalam banyak hal. Buat yang lagi ngerjain skripsi, ayo semangat. Semua pasti bisa nyelesein skripsinya kok, just believe in yourself. Buat yang akan skripsi, jangan takut berlebihan. Nervous wajar banget, cuma saran gue sih, rajin-rajin aja bimbingan, karena dosen pembimbing itu yang akan jadi teman kita sampai sidang nanti. Jadi, jangan sampe bikin ulah, dan turutin aja mau beliau.

Happy skripsi! 

TN ku..

Lahir menjadi anak satu-satunya membuatku sangat manja. Sampai SMP, aku bahkan hampir tidak pernah membantu ibuku mencuci di rumah, membantu memasak, semuanya dikerjakan oleh Pembantuku.
Sampai suatu hari, takdir mengubahku.
Aku masuk ke SMA swasta yang amat sangat terkenal akan kedisiplinannya. Sekolah itu terletak di kota Magelang. Sistem semi militer berasrama kualami selama tiga tahun.
Bukan hanya hal baik saja yang kuterima, selain kedisiplinan yang keras tentunya. Setelah aku lulus pun, aku sendiri sampai heran, bagaimana bisa aku begitu kuper dan buta dunia luar. Aku ingat, dulu ketika liburan tiba, banyak sekali band-band baru yang tidak kuketahui, sampai-sampai ayahku menertawakanku.
Ya, kami hanya diberi kesempatan satu kali setiap minggunya untuk keluar kampus. Itupun hanya sekitar kota Magelang. Jika sudah kelas 2, boleh juga ke Jogja. Namun kadang-kadang sayang biayanya aja. Lagipula jaraknya yang cukup jauh, membuat aku kelelahan ketika balik lagi sesampainya di kampus. Salah satu kelemahan lulusan SMA ini ialah kuper. Walaupun Koran selalu tersedia di area kelas tiap tingkatan, namun rasanya masih kurang. Internet pun belum bisa diakses dengan bebas, bagaimana mau akses, paling-paling harus ke fasnet (warnet-red) yang lamanya setengah mati dan jam bukanya pun terbatas sekali. Mau telepon rumah? Yah, sisihkan saja uang untuk menelepon di wartel, karena handphone hukumnya haram.
Aku juga ingat, di radio pernah ada ucapan salah satu ortu dari siswa TN, yang menyesal memasukkan anaknya di sana, karena ia jadi sangat tidak gaul dan tidak tahu apa-apa.
Walaupun begitu, tetap saja kita tidak bisa menstereotype-kan bahwa semua anak TN kuper. Mungkin saja, akunya dulu yang begitu menutup diri atau si anak yang katanya kuper itu memang tidak mau tahu hal di luar.
Nyatanya, alumni TN terkenal dengan jaringan dan kesolid-annya, walaupun sudah lulus. Jangan heran jika Anda pernah melihat sekumpulan anak TN dari yang mukanya udah tua banget, sampai yang masih mahasiswa, karena sering sekali aku bertemu dengan abang angkatan 1 dan aku angkatan 14. Lihat betapa jauhnya bukan? Namun, belum pernah bertemu bukan halangan. Cukup memakai jaket almamater di jalan, pasti aku sudah disapa banyak orang yang bahkan baru pertama kali kulihat.
Dulu, aku amat membenci berbagai tradisi yang menurutku sudah kuno dan nggak banget. Dulu aku paling takut ketika acara makan. Bukan karena aku dipukuli atau bahkan ditampar. Sama sekali bukan. Tapi aku harus menghapal seluruh kakak perempuan, yang nantinya akan menjadi teman makanku. Wah, memang sih hanya dua angkatan, dan siswi perempuan jauh lebih sedikit daripada siswa laki-laki. Tapi rasanya, mengahapal 52 kakak kelas 3 dan 72 kakak kelas 2 sudah merupakan siksaan bagiku. Apalagi temanku saja jumlahnya sudah 97. Ampun. Kalau tidak bisa jawab? Yah, pastinya sih Cuma malu.
Lalu belum lagi segudang tata tertib yang diajarkan oleh kakak-kakak PKS. Baju harus memiliki empat garis, 2 di depan dan sisanya di belakang. Sepatu harus kinclong sempurna, gesper harus mengkilap sempurna. Tak lupa mengisi kantong baju dengan notes dan buku saku. Membawa saputangan, pulpen dan memakai nametag dimana pun berada. Jika lupa? Paling-paling disuruh lari keliling atau lari ke graha mengambil barang yang tertinggal.
Makan tidak boleh terlambat. Di meja makan, terdapat 2 orang kakak kelas 3, 2 orang kakak kelas 2 dan aku bersama temanku. Aku harus sigap memindahkan centong nasi, sendok sayur, tempat nasi, dan tempat sayur. Makanpun tangan tidak boleh menyentuh meja, makan nasi harus berurutan dari bagian yang paling atas.
Dulu aku paling suka dengan kegiatan belajar. Selain bisa bertemu rekan-rekan pria, paling tidak aku tidak harus dipelototi oleh kakak-kakak. Di kelas pun, terkadang kakak/abang yang memiliki nomor absen yang sama dulunya, terkadang datang, membawakan makanan ringan atau sekedar menghibur adik-adiknya. Dulu aku ingat, bahkan pacar kakak absenku pun sering datang mengunjungiku. Alasannya klasik, menanyakan tentang kakakku.
Pulang sekolah, aku makan siang dan kalau beruntung ada sidak, yah, siap-siap saja lari keliling graha, atau pushup sesuai dengan pelanggaran. Padahal rasanya tangan dan kaki ini sudah lelah akibat lari di pagi hari atau berenang. Setelah itu, bisalah istirahat sebentar, itupun kalau tidak ada cucian. Kalau harus mencuci, ya mencuci. Jangan pernah lupa mengangkat jemuran yang sudah kering, dan menyetrikanya sebelum dimasukkan ke dalam lemari.
Setelah itu, biasanya ada kegiatan seperti pelajaran bela Negara dan Kenusantaraan&Kepemimpinan. Sebenarnya aku suka kedua pelajaran itu, karena sifatnya ringan dan menambah wawasan yang sama sekali belum pernah kudapatkan. Tapi, baju bela Negara sangat sulit untuk dicuci karena besar. Belum lagi sepatu PDL yang bentuknya kayak sepatu hansip itu. Kalau tidak mengkilap, siap-siap saja lari (lagi).
Malam, setelah makan, aku pun harus berada di meja belajar sejak jam 7 malam sampai jam 9. Biasanya sih yang efektif hanya menjelang ujian atau ulangan harian. Tapi lumayan, kadang-kadang kami mengisinya dengan mengerjakan PR bersama atau membahas pelajaran di kelas yang tadi terlewat akibat ketiduran. Hehehhe. Tapi tak jarang juga kulewati jam belajar malam dengan tidur atau hanya mengobrol dengan teman sebelahku.
Wah, dari tadi kok ngeluh melulu ya? Hehehe.
Setelah aku kos sewaktu kuliah, ternyata kesemuanya ini memberikan manfaat yang amat sangat berarti.
Lihat saja:
1. Menghapal nama kakak kelas, membuatku kini mudah sekali menghapalkan nama orang. Walaupun masih sering lupa juga, tapi lumayan membuatku memaksa menghapal wajah orang yang pernah kukenal.
2. Baju harus bergaris, itu sebenarnya representasi dari lipatan baju di lemari. Andai tidak digaris pun sebenarnya sudah akan terdapat garis. Namun jika digaris dari awal, akan memudahkan kita saat menata atau melipat baju dalam lemari
3. Sepatu dan gesper kinclong. Merupakan bentuk bahwa setiap hari kita harus mempersiapkan segala sesuatu untuk mendapatkan kesan yang baik dari teman-teman di sekitar kita. Malu juga kan kalau melihat sepatu yang kotor dipakai kemana-mana.
4. Membawa sapu tangan, pulpen, notes. Penting banget! Terutama buat mahasiswa baru yang belum hapal jadwal kuliahnya. Harus rajin-rajin mencatat jadwal ruangannya, bahkan petanya kalau bisa. Dan kalau habis lari-lari karena telat, lap keringet deh pakai sapu tangan. Praktis!
5. Peraturan meja makan sih representasi dari table manner. Yah, bagaimanapun juga, kita sebagai kaum wanita masa kalau makan seperti supir bis, asal-asalan. Anggun dikitlah.
6. Jam belajar malam. Sangat berguna bagi para mahasiswa. Tentu saja jadwal kuliah yang berantakan harus memaksa kita mampu membagi waktu dengan baik. Salah-salah malah kebanyakan main karena sudah dikekang tiga tahun. Belajar dua jam sehari sudah cukup sekali dan bisalah kita membuang jauh-jauh status deadliners kita. Kuliah masih deadliners? Wah, hati-hati saja.
7. Selebihnya, seperti mencuci, menjemur dan menyetrika, merupakan investasi bagi kita kaum hawa. Lulus-lulus, udah siap nikah. Tinggal belajar masak aja. Hehehehe. Buat kaum adam, yah pasti bisa lebih toleran sama istrinya nanti, karena tahu bahwa pekerjaan-pekerjaan itu nggak mudah.
8. Olahraga dan Berenang. Well, hal ini menyebabkan lengan besar dan betis besar bukan percuma loh. Ospek saat kuliah atau bahkan hanya ketika melakukan aktivitas sehari-hari, badan kita pasti lebih fit dibanding teman-teman lainnya. Dijamin.

See, semua ada hikmahnya.

Mainan jaman sekarang????

Siang2 gw lagi tiduran sambil baca komik di rumah.
Trus gw denger anak2 tetangga lagi pada main.
Sejenak gw berhenti dan mengulang masa lalu. *halah*
Gw jadi inget d, siang2 bgni biasanya gw lagi keluyuran ke rmh tmn gw buat main dan menghindari teriakan nyokap yg nyuru gw tidur siang.
Biasanya si karena gw anak cwe, palingan main boneka atau main BP. (Taw BP g? Bongkar Pasang. Itu loh, kertas yang gambarnya cwe2 n baju2nya. Trus bajunya diganti2 gt)
Atau gw juga seneng banget main karet. Karet panjang yg disambung jadi satu trus kita ngelompatin dengan ketinggian yg divariasi.
Trus main galah asin (kalo gw nyebutnya galaksin) atau cing benteng (bentengan) atau main petak umpet (klo gw nyebutnya cing sumput). Hahaha. Jadi kangen d. Benernya gw jarang banget denger anak tetangga main2 gt. Eh, gw di rumah aja jarang, gmn mau sering dgr orang main yak? Hehehehe.
Nah trus, gw dgr lagi, mainan jaman skrg apa yaaaa.... Ternyata mereka bermain dg menggunakan bhs Inggris. Wahhhhhh....Jaman gw, bahasa inggris Cuma ada di kelas.
Sebenernya karena jaman gw kecil, bokap masi di Amrik buat sekolah, gw sering bgt dibawain mainan atau buku berbahasa Inggris. Tapi, tiap gw ajak tmn2 gw buat main bgtuan, tmn2 gw g pnah mau. Jadilah, gw selalu mainan ala kampung. Maklum, rumah di BTN di pelosok kota Bogor. Hehehhe.
Tapi gw selalu seneng, tiap malem minggu gw main kejar2an yg bikin keringetan di depan rumah. Trus balik ke rumah bentar buat minum. Trus main lagi ampe malem. Jam 9an baru d gw balik. Hehehhe. Habis itu langsung tertisur nyenyak. Bsok paginya, jam 5an gw uda pergi lagi buat sepedaan keliling komplek atau ke komplek seberang. Waaaahhhhhh, pokoknya seru pisan lah dulu. Pantesan dulu gw sehat bgt kali yak. Tiap hari lari2 dg riang gembira.Hahaha.