new year new me?

finally 2023. 

first, I got to say, Alhamdulillah. Although too many sad events back in 2022, but still I should be grateful for everything. 

maybe this is a way Allah shows that whatever Allah wants, Allah gets. I thought I could not be sadder than before, then it is. However I still manage to survive.

I got to finish 2022 with happy events. Got to travel with closest friends and I could not be more grateful for that. finally I can say, it is all worth to go through so many hassles before to experience so many beautiful sceneries. maybe I should dedicate another travel post about that.

mau cerita apa ya.

2022 itu kayak tahun paling demotivated sepanjang sejarah kerja. akhirnya ngerasain juga depressed, males ngapa2in, males bangun, males aktivitas. kerja juga bisa nangis2 sendiri. padahal ya ngga ada yg bikin sedih. cm kebanyakan kerjaan sampe beneran bingung. udh kerja pagi ampe malem, masih aja telat submit macem2, masih aja kurang ini itu, masih aja mepet2. padahal i try my best not to defer any tasks and do things right away. ngga tau, perasaan udh praktek kerja efektif efisien, kerja smart, cepet-yang-penting-kumpulin-dulu, ttp aja ngga selesai2. for the first time, I feel stupid and restless, I feel incompetent for what I am doing.

tapi yaa. Allah MahaBaik. selalu ada yg nolongin di saat-saat terakhir. ada yang menghibur (pdhl mungkin dia ngga bermaksud), ada yg ngajakin main, ada yg nanyain kabar, ada mamah yg standby mijitin, papah yg standby pesenin gofood. what a life.

too many tears in 2022. klo dipikir jernih, ngapain sih sedih2an buat urusan kantor yg yaudalah. harus move on. harus belajar buat cepet pulih, cepet move on. cepet terima klo semua ngga harus ontime, ngga harus excel, ngga harus bagus. do it on my time.

udah dulu deh postingannya. 2023 mudah2an lebih baik lagi. banyak kerja tp banyak main. mudah2an pandemi juga udahan, pengen lebih banyak main dan nulis. bye All!